Hello and Goodbye

Hello and Goodbye. In our lifetimes we say those words millions of times. Mostly our hello and goodbye is very casually said, such as when we answer the phone with “hello.” For many years I had no idea who was calling when I answered the phone, but my greeting was always “hello.” Now with caller ID, it’s easy to tell who is calling, and my response is sometimes different.

Goodbyes are a little different. Sometimes they are very casual because we have plans to see the other person again soon. But sometimes the best-laid plans don’t happen the way we thought they would.

Recently a friend I had known for nearly 30 years died suddenly. At one time we were very close friends, but in the last five years or so, our paths have gone different ways, so we rarely saw each other. I cannot remember the last time I said “goodbye” to her. I am sure that whenever it was, I did not think it would be a final goodbye. Fortunately, her family was able to see her and tell her goodbye before she died, though she was not conscious. We do not know how much people hear and understand in the unconscious state, but I am sure she heard and felt their loving goodbyes.

Other goodbyes are not as emotional. My daughter and her family live in Oklahoma City, an eight-hour road trip from my home. They were just here for a long weekend, and we said goodbye when they departed. After an action-packed weekend with cousins, an aunt and uncle, great-grandma and grandma Polly, one cousin taking a trip to the emergency room for stitches and other general chaos, I am sure they were ready to be in their own space and sleep in their own beds. And I have to admit, I welcomed the silence in my home again, as I’m no longer used to the bedlam of young children 24-7. However, saying goodbye was tough for me, but there were no tears. I don’t know when I will see them again, but I believe I will. Perhaps for Thanksgiving?

So why are goodbyes difficult sometimes, even when it does not involve a death? For me, it’s because goodbye means the ending of something that was fun and wonderful. Life has ups and downs. I tend to savor the highs – the joys of life – and a goodbye usually signals the end of an experience or conversation that brought joy. And being human, sometimes my wonderful times are followed by a bit of a letdown. Like hello and goodbye, it’s all part of the ebb and flow of life.

When Jesus was here on earth, He was every bit a human with the same emotions we have. And he had to say goodbyes. When he spoke from the cross to his mother, Mary, and then to his beloved disciple, John, he was in a sense saying goodbye. He did not say that word, but it was a goodbye. He knew he would be back among the living in three days. They did not.

When Jesus was almost ready to return to heaven, in trying to prepare his close friends, his disciples, for another very real goodbye, he said “I go to prepare a place for you …” (John 14:28) He was going to heaven, but they would miss his earthly presence.

I believe, too, that I will again see my husband who died four years ago, along with other family and friends who are in heaven. But in the meantime, they are gone and I’m still here.

A butterfly stops to savor the nectar in a
summer flower. On your journey,
don't forget to stop to smell the flowers.

Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation (www.Soaringspirits.org (www.Soaringspirits.org) posted this on Face Book recently: “I think the hardest part of losing someone isn’t having to say goodbye, but rather learning to live without them. Always trying to fill the void, the emptiness that’s left inside your heart when they go.”

I will not use the cliché that Jesus will fill that void. Yes, I believe he can and will, because he promised to never leave or forsake us (Joshua 1:5). But it is a journey. Not a process. A process follows predictable steps and the end result should always be the same. A journey, on the other hand, can be a meandering up hill and down, stopping to rest, refresh or reflect, or even to weep, and the end result is yet to be seen. A journey also takes an unpredictable amount of time.

On the other side of the coin, when there is a goodbye, there is often a hello following it. A hello to a new person or experience. A hello to finding our path after huge loss. A hello to a new way of life we develop while filling that void in our hearts. The new hello is often just doing the next thing God puts before you – opportunities for learning, spiritual growth, new relationships, new interests to pursue.

For me, as I say goodbye, I want to welcome the hello that follows. That is part of my journey. And there is no doubt there are good things to come. God promises us good, so I try to say “hello” to all the next things.

Sometimes there is pain, but God promises, “joy in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5) However, I

don’t take that “morning” literally – it might take many mornings for the joy to return after a difficult goodbye. But joy will return, in God’s good time. 

And while you wait, remember to find joy in small things and be grateful. I have found that living with a grateful heart is a healing tonic to my soul.